4 Things I’ve Learned While Waiting

Waiting.

 

A verb that, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, means to stay in place in expectation of.

 

I am just now exiting a season of waiting. For the last couple of weeks I had been waiting for God to not seem so silent. For Him to not seem so far away, and honestly, it was hard and it was LONG. What I was feeling was me trying to deal with the fact that God seemed to be silent or that he was feeling a little farther away than usual, but I knew the truth. The truth is that he was and is right here with me, but that did not make this season of waiting any easier.

 

While all this had been going on I was thinking what is God trying to teach me? What can I learn during this wait? Well I have come up with four things so far.

 

  1. It is uncomfortable.

 

It is uncomfortable because it makes you think. One of the things that I needed to think about was if I was only feeling this disconnect with God because he was not answering prayers the way I wanted. Obviously, I am a planner and I had a plan and I wanted things to be on my timeline. When that did not happen I got frustrated. However, this is not the only time I have told God what my plan was and it did not go my way.  How many times do we do this? We pray and we tell God how awesome we think it will be to do something on our timelines and then get frustrated when we do not get our way. In the last couple weeks I have come to the conclusion that God must shake his head at me multiple times a day saying, “Girl, have I not provided for you for your whole life? I got your back, just trust me. I love you.”

 

It is uncomfortable to be out of control of a situation. It is uncomfortable to not know when exactly something is going to happen for you or if something will happen for you. It is uncomfortable when things seem to be happening for others at the exact time they want, but here you are waiting. It is uncomfortable for God to feel silent. For Him to feel just out of reach. Lastly, it is uncomfortable because we can realize that we spend far too much time thinking about what we want and being self focused that we lose focus on Jesus. God is not a genie. He is not a magic 8 ball. He is our father who cares for us, provides for us, and loves us immensely more than we can imagine. He listens to the prayers we cry and His love for us is true. So I have learned that yes, this waiting period was uncomfortable, but he was right by me all along and sometimes a little discomfort does the soul some good.

 

     2. I distract myself with noise.

 

When I am in a situation where waiting seems to be the only thing I can do I have learned that I distract myself with noise. With all kinds of noise. Radio, podcasts, time spent on social media, talking to friends on the phone, TV, movies, etc. Anything to help me not have to wait in silence where I would have to wrestle with my thoughts. This goes for any period of waiting, not just the spiritual waiting I was in these past few weeks. I do this all the time. Whenever it is the week before I fly home to see my family I am so impatient that I have to fill the time with other things. Distracting myself so that minutes will seem to pass by quicker. How often do you distract yourself with noise? When you are going through something hard do you do things to keep yourself busy so you do not get caught up in your thoughts that come in silence?

 

How often do we miss opportunities in the waiting period because we have distracted ourselves with noise? It can feel as though we jump from waiting for one thing to the other, but we cannot not live life in those waiting periods. You will miss so much of life if you do not look up and learn to see the joy in the waiting period.

 

     3. Waiting helps us grow.

 

I am going to specifically talk about my devotion life here in terms of growing. Initially when I started feeling like God was being a little distant I was asked if something had changed in my devotional life and nothing seemed to have changed, but my devotion style has been the same for about the last 7 years. Pray. Read the Bible.  journal. pray. So I took the next few weeks and tried other things. I looked up other styles of prayer journaling and tried them. I tried different forms of prayer. I started looking at smaller chunks of scripture at a time and trying to look at it in different ways. It was fun. It is fun, because I am still trying to mix up how I do my daily devotion time.

 

I think that in a time of waiting we have the opportunity to grow if we take it. Try something new! You never know, it might just change your perspective on a situation.

 

     4.God never leaves you alone.

 

The Creator of the universe has given us the knowledge and comfort of knowing He will never leave us. He showed us the greatest act of love by His death and resurrection for our sin so that we may have that eternal life with Him. Why would he do that just to leave us? He would not. There are multiple times in the Bible that God shows us He does not leave His people. Even when we get self focused. Even when we are in the hardest times of life. Even when He seems silent. He is there. He is continually there. Arms wide open.

 

Not only is he always there, but he gives us the people in our life to show us His love as well. In the last few weeks I have talked to so many people who said they have experienced seasons like the one I was going through. It was comforting to know that others go through the same thing. To not feel like something must be wrong with me because my relationship with God is not always picture perfect. It is scary to be open and vulnerable with people. It is scary to admit to that we struggle, but the feeling of knowing someone else has had those same struggles brings comfort and peace.

 

There are other things I have learned, but I think these four things are things we can all learn and apply to many situations in our lives. There is always something to learn in the waiting period so try to enjoy the ride.

 

Until next week.

 

Peace and love my friends.

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Life Is Not A Checklist

You might want to grab a snack for this one. This is going to be a long one.

 

I will wait.

 

Okay, are you comfy? Here we go.

 

When you envision the perfect life, what do you see? Is it a two story house on a cul de sac with two cars in the driveway and a family unit of 4 inside? Is it a full bank account? Is it working your dream job in the city you have always wanted to live in? Take a second to picture it.

 

Now, do you know anyone with a seemingly perfect life? You might think you do, but I think deep down we all know life is not perfect for anyone.

 

Do you ever compare your own life with others and end up feeling behind on life? As a millenial (ew.) social media is something I use daily, and I am betting most of you do as well. While there are many wonderful things about social media, like sharing this blog with you, there is one major problem.

 

It can draw us into the comparison game.

 

I have written about comparison before, but I want to write about it a little differently today. First, I want to say that social media is NOT the only thing that causes us to fall into the comparison game. People have been comparing themselves to others way before social media boomed and will continue long after.  The thing with social media is that it puts the temptation to compare right in front of your face. Like a carrot being dangled in front of a horse, for lack of a better visual. Social media is our own personal highlight reel. We show the things that make us happy. This can be a great thing! I love seeing all the wonderful things people do like getting new jobs, buying a new house, baby announcements etc etc., but those kind of announcements are also the things that cause us to compare our lives to others.

 

Generally, we (American culture) have made some of these things into a checklist for our lives to make our lives a success, or what people would say is a success. Things such as…

 

Going to college

Having a career

Getting married/moving in together

Buying a house

Having two kids

Saving money for retirement

 

And when those things do not happen for us, but happen for our friends we might start to feel as if we are behind on where we should be in our life. When we scroll through social media we can start having thoughts like, I need to be doing more. I should be farther ahead in my career. Another friend is engaged, why am I still single? Why does my life look nothing like theirs? Why is their life so easy?

 

STOP RIGHT THERE!

 

Our lives are not a checklist.

 

Let me repeat that.

 

Our lives are not a checklist!

 

Maybe you did not go to college. Maybe you have no idea what you want to do for your career yet. Maybe you do not want to get married or have children. Maybe you cannot have children. Maybe you are just trying to make ends meet and do not have extra money to save. All of these things are okay because there is not some standard checklist of life that needs to be completed. There is not one way of life that is successful and another that is a failure. Your life is yours, not someone else’s.

 

For me, there are days when I can go deep in the thinking that I am behind. Many of my friends have already bought a house, while my husband and I are still renting. I am not mad or sad about this because our apartment is perfect for us, and it is super cute.  However, there are some days where I feel like I am behind because my friends have their own houses and we do not. Ridiculous right? Absolutely.

 

One thing that makes me angry is when people try to push this checklist of life on other people. This happened to my husband and I the other day. Someone announced they were pregnant and a friend of ours looked straight at us and said dead seriously, “Wow you guys are behind, you need to get on it.” No lie, this happened a few days ago.

 

I was so angry. First, I was angry because we hear comments like this weekly. Second, I was mad because whenever we receive comments about children they are always made as if children are just another box to check or just another step up the ladder of life. (Side note: I have many opinions on people commenting on having babies. Be on the lookout for a blog post in February about all the hilariously annoying comments we have gotten in our first year of marriage.) Back to my point. Children are not a box to check off. They are a huge decision and responsibility. They are fun and a joy, but a deeply personal decision to be made by my husband and I, not anybody else.

 

You should never feel bad for where you are in life and you should never feel pressured to do something just because that is seemingly the next step in life. We grow up and have different experiences and we prioritize different things according to what we think is important. Buying a house might be important to some, but not others. Someone’s career might be their priority over having a family. Your life is never going to mirror someone else’s life so comparing your life to others is pointless.

 

Enjoy where you are. As cheesy as that sounds, it is true. Your life is your own. Love where you are in the present moment. Do not spend your moments wishing you were living a different life. Enjoy the journey!

 

Peace and blessings to you in the new year. If you are going to make a new goal this year make it this one: to stop comparing and love the moments of your life.

Striving For More Than a Resolution

It is officially 2018 friends.

 

Another new year.

 

This past year I had so much going on that it flew by as quickly as it came. In the past year I got married, traveled to many different places. Some new places, like California for our honeymoon, and some old places I have known my whole life, like St. Louis. I made new friends, became an aunt for the 4th time with a new niece (and continued to enjoy loving my 3 other nephews), moved into a new apartment, and bought my first new car! It is amazing how many blessings can happen in just one year.

 

Now that it is the first week of January you have no doubt been seeing all the new year resolution commercials and ads. And do not even get me started on how many gym and diet commercials I have already seen this week. If I had a penny for every time one of those commercials came on I would be a millionaire.

 

Losing weight is the number one resolution made every year, and every year it is the top resolution never achieved.

 

I think people wanting to get healthy is awesome. Do not get me wrong, I want to be healthier this year as well.  However I have a problem with new year resolutions. People make them, but do not create a plan to achieve them, so after a few weeks of not getting the results they want right away they give up.

 

I am not a fan of the term resolutions. I do not know why exactly, it has just always rubbed me the wrong way. I like goals.

 

Actually I LOVE goals.

 

I have weekly goal lists at work and at home. Goals are great because you can make a goal that might seem impossible to you right now, but is what you want in the long run and then make all these mini goals to reach the big goal. It is like climbing a huge mountain with check in points along the way.

 

I have seven large goals this year and I am going to use this blog to keep me accountable to them.None of these have to do with losing weight or trying to change my body. My goals are:

 

  1. To blog 1 or 2 times a week consistently.
  2. Finish writing my book.
  3. Run 1500-2000 miles and/or swim 400 miles.
  4. Read at least 1 book a month for fun (work books not included)
  5. Daily devotions, prayer, and time in my Bible.
  6. To stop obsessing over my body.
  7. To get out of my comfort zone. Take more risks.

 

So… how am I going to use this blog to keep me accountable?

 

At the end of each month I will do a check in blog and write about each of these seven goals and tell you how I am working towards reaching those goals. I wanted to have goals that had nothing to do with changing my physical appearance, but were about growing as a person. Health is not just physical. It is a combination of emotional, physical, and social health. The overall goal this year is a balance of all 3!

 

Thank you to everyone who has been reading my blog the last two years, and I hope you continue to do so this year. If I can help support you in any of your goals this year I would love to do so! Let’s make this year about striving for more than just a resolution, but striving to grow into the best people we can be!

Sinking Sand?

When I logged onto facebook this morning I had a “memory” pop up on my newsfeed that made me cringe… and then it made me jealous…then made me angry, at myself. I love the memories that come up in my notifications most of the time, but sometimes it brings back things I would rather just let go.

This picture was of a few years ago when most people would say I looked my best. I mean I was smiling, had my makeup done, was slim, trim and everything our society deems as beautiful, but I was miserable and nobody knew it.

I have a complicated relationship with my body and it is something that I will one day completely concur, but on particularly bad weeks, days, or even hours those old habits creep in so easily. Those negative thoughts come back with a vengeance. So when this picture popped up at first the thoughts that were coming to my mind were things like I am so glad I stopped running myself into the ground and depleting my body of nutrients to look like that and  how sad is it that I thought my problems would be solved with my body being a smaller size. The longer I looked at the picture the more those thoughts changed into you were so much prettier when you were thin, look at how much weight you have put back on since then, and it would be so easy to get back to that weight and the worst one, my family must think I am huge.

 

Um…no. Stop right there.

 

These thoughts are a black hole and will bring nothing but trouble. I got angry at myself for so quickly jumping back into the mentality of diet culture. Angry that we as a society put so much emphasis on the outer beauty of a person and do not emphasise the qualities and character of an individual. We get more concerned with looking good than doing good and trying to help others.  

What the world considers beautiful is always changing, but it is not the only thing that changes. New technology, new jobs, new houses, new clothes are always coming out. What is considered the “hot new item” is always changing. When we are continually focusing on what the new thing is and getting more more more I believe we are building our life on sinking sand. When we are focusing on making sure that our outside appearance is up to society standards instead of what is on people’s hearts, I believe there is cause for alarm. Chasing after the newest and brightest thing is like trying to climb out of a hole and the top is always jussst out of reach. It can be exhausting.

So what is the foundation on which we should be building ourselves on? It sure is not outer beauty I will tell you that much. It is not the things the world tells us will make us happy such as money, material things, a career, or the perfect figure.

 

It is Christ.

 

The giver of life to all. The one who never changes and never will. The one who loves us enough to give His own life on the cross to pay for our sin so that we may live with Him forever in eternity. That is our foundation friends. God is the only foundation that will never crack, break, or budge. He will never love us less because of our flaws, worries, or doubts. In fact, His love for us is more than any person could dream of loving another person. True joy and peace is knowing that His love will never change.

One of my favorite hymns of all time is My Hope Is Built on Nothing Less. The words tie into this topic so well.

 

My hope is built on nothing less

Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;

No merit of my own I claim

But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

On Christ, the solid rock, I stand;

All other ground is sinking sand,

All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness veils His lovely face,

I rest on His unchanging grace;

In every high and stormy gale

My anchor holds within the veil.

On Christ, the solid rock, I stand;

All other ground is sinking sand,

All other ground is sinking sand.

(Lutheran Service Book, Pg. 576)

 

It paints a beautiful picture of the solid foundation that Christ is for us. His grace is unchanging. He is the anchor in the storms of life. I wish I could go back and tell the lost girl in that picture that she was unhappy because she was chasing worldly standards and not focusing on her relationship with God. What a relief for us to know that we do not have to play keeping up the Jones’ to have that secure foundation. Christ and His work on the cross has done the work for us. His life giving work that brings pure joy and everlasting life in every sense of the word and in all circumstances.

 

Live in that joy.

 

Not the temporary worldly happiness that comes with material things that are always changing.  

 

Live your life full of joy because Christ is your strong foundation.

Stop Waiting To Live

Raise your hand if you have ever bought into the lie that you would be happier when you were thinner? You cannot see me, but my hand is raised high in the air. If we are honest, we have believed some form of that lie at one time or another.

 

I will be happier once I get that job promotion.

I will be happier once I get married.

I will be happier when I move to a new city.

I will be happier when I own a house/car/business.

I will be happier once I have the latest technology.

I will be happier once I am thinner.

 

Honestly, the list goes on and on depending on what your interests are. Some of these things will no doubt make us happy, but happiness is a fleeting emotion. That is why we are always chasing it. It does not stay with us. Getting a job promotion is a great accomplishment, but with a better job comes more stress and more responsibilities. Getting married is a joyful, exciting, and life changing experience, but it is not sunshine and rainbows all the time. Moving to a new city to start fresh might seem like an exciting new adventure, but there are many stressors that come with it. Making new friends, finding a new job, finding a place to live, and figuring out how to navigate around the city are all things that can become overwhelming. Buying a house is one of the biggest purchases a person can make. However, things can go wrong and need fixing. Technology is always changing. When we think we have the latest and greatest gadget, a new product comes out and the feeling of happiness that was there is now gone and replaced with the longing for the next best thing. When is it enough?

While our culture is all about the next thing and getting more, more, more, women are constantly being sold the idea that we will be happier when we are thinner. We will be more outgoing, confident, successful,and intelligent all because we are a lesser weight. We see it all the time in commercials, magazine advertisements, TV shows, movies, etc.

 

Ugh. Give me a break.

 

I will say that research shows there is a small percentage of women who report being happier when they become thinner and that is all fine and dandy. However, there are women in my life who I have talked with and they have reported that they might feel happy for a while at their new weight, but then at some point that new low weight becomes the norm and they want to get smaller. How thin is thin enough? Body image issues are not skin deep. They are rooted deep down in the ground. Those issues are not going to go away just because your body gets smaller. Losing weight does NOT equal improved body image.

I believe that part of the problem is that we can end up putting our lives on hold until we reach this ideal goal weight we have in our head.

 

I will lose the weight and then I can have kids.

I will lose the weight and then I will go on a vacation.

I will lose the weight and then I will start dating.

I will lose the weight and then I will start _________.

 

Why are you not living your life right now? There are so many double standards out there. You need to be thin, but not TOO thin. Men like curves, but you cannot be TOO curvy. Blondes have more fun, but brunettes have the mysteriousness that is sexy. Can a woman catch a break?! (P.S. I am not saying men do not have double standards because they absolutely do.) Do not add one more thing to your plate to stop you from living life. If you want to start a family do it! You will never regret having more time with your kids, but you might regret waiting so long all because you wanted to be at a certain weight. If you are stressed out and in need of a vacation do not let the scale make that decision for you! If you want to start dating there is going to be someone who is attracted to you the way you are at this very moment.

You will not magically become a different person by losing weight so stop letting it have so much control over your life. The ideal body will not show others love, compassion, empathy,etc. Your heart does that. Your actions do that.

Again, I think this all comes back around to happiness. This trying to fill our soul with the things our society says will make us complete. While my experience with this comes from a body image and weight perspective, people put their lives on hold waiting for many different things. Some people wait to have a family until they have the ideal job with the ideal salary to support a family. Others believe that having a big house, having a fancy car or living in the right city will fill them with happiness.

When does it become enough? How much is enough? How thin is thin enough? Why is happiness always fleeting? And when do we stop and realize that what we are chasing is always changing? What is the foundation that is never going to change in our life? Do you have a foundation that is never changing? That is what I will be blogging about next time.

 

Here is a hint: Our foundation is not something materialistic.

 

Catch ya next time friends!

5 Things Running Has Taught Me About Life

This upcoming weekend is the weekend I am supposed to run my first marathon. But, I got hurt, could not run for a little over two months, and now am just getting back into the swing of things. To be completely honest I am heartbroken about not being able to run this race. As I looked down at my planner to make my to do list for the week I saw the word MARATHON plastered all over Saturday’s date with stars around it and I cried while scratching it out with my pen.

I have been pain free for a few weeks now and I have not pushed myself past 3 miles because I am terrified that the pain is going to come back. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop so to speak. If you have any tips for how to get over this fear please feel free to share your wisdom! As of now I have pulled back from running a little bit as my husband and I have really gotten into swimming. While I love swimming, and anyone who knew me growing up knows I live in the pool during summer time, it cannot take the place of running in my heart.

I started running around the time I turned 16. Since I am turning 26 this weekend I thought I would share 5 things I have learned about life from running in the last 10 years. Maybe this will cure my marathon blues.

 

  1. It is all mental.

 

Running can be a tougher mental sport than physical one at times. Do not get me wrong. Running is HARD physical work, but sometimes that mental game gets to you. I have had many runs where my body obviously could keep going, but my mind tells me no. It is frustrating, annoying, agitating, ________ (insert whatever word you feel here), etc. I think life can be the same at times. We all have days where we would rather jump back into bed all day rather than face whatever hard or scary thing we know we have to face that day. I have learned that it is easier to face the hard thing dead on rather than avoiding it and having to deal with the anxiety of avoiding said scary thing. Pushing past hard moments builds character. Embrace it just like you would on a hard run. The ups and downs are just part of the journey.

 

  1. Setting goals is important.

 

I will let you in on a little secret about me: I am a nerd. I love goals. I love lists. I love planning things out. This all ties into my Type A personality I am sure, but I truly think goals are important. Goals keep us striving forward out of our comfortable little nests we call a comfort zone. Well, they will if you set them that way. Then again, is it really a goal if it keeps where we always are? Food for thought. Anyway…back to the point. There are endless goals for running. Anything from distance, speed, qualifying for specific races, etc. The list goes on. Life is the same way. You can have goals for school, goals for work, goals for sports, goals for new activities you want to learn.

There are also different kinds of goals to set. Short term and long term. We set long term goals that are the big picture and then we can set the short term goals up for how to reach the long term. All you need to do is be S.M.A.R.T about your goal. Remember learning that in school?  Be specific. Make it measurable. Make it achievable. Think about what you want the results to be. Make a timeline for your goal.

My goal is still to run a marathon and I have two races I am debating between. However, I am not going to announce anything until I get the fear out of my head of getting injured again.

 

  1. Sometimes we need to slow down.

 

There are days when I am running and everything is clicking. My breathing is great, my legs feel weightless, the weather is perfect and so I kick up the speed until I realize that I sped up too fast too quickly and have to pull myself back to catch my breath. Life can be the same.

Being busy has become a symbol of success in our society. If you are busy you are important, needed, and good at what you do. Or so that is what many think. If you honestly reflect on your schedule do you think you could use a little pause here and there? We all could. If you do not take the time out to relax and slow down you will more than likely burn yourself out.

Take time to do things you enjoy that fill your soul. Read, run, walk, play golf, do whatever it is that refills your energy. Make it a priority to do those things on a regular basis.  

 

  1. Change up the scenery!

 

I have the same lake trail I love to run on every week, but sometimes I just need a change of location. If we run the same trails all the time it no longer becomes a challenge after a while. Different trails means different difficulties!

When we feel as if we are in a rut with life that might mean we just need a change of pace. Go to a different coffee shop, run in a different neighborhood, take your work out of the office and into a different location. It is amazing how the brain becomes creative in different settings.

 

  1. There is always room for improvement.

 

I know that I still have so much to learn with running and I am excited to do so. In life we are always to be learning. There is so much out there! In every career there is always room to grow. Even if you happen to be the top person in your field there is always more to learn. If you feel you have learned everything you can in one area move to another!

 

These are just 5 life lessons I have learned in the last ten years. Hopefully year 26 will be the year of 26.2 miles for me. If not, I will keep on trying!

 

Run. Sweat. Do something to achieve your goal!

 

Until next week my friends. Peace.

Obsession

Don’t focus on the food….oh, okay. I knew there had to be a simple solution.  

Why hadn’t I thought of that??

Now let me back up a few days.

It started innocently. It always does. You log on to Youtube thinking you will watch one video, then a few hours pass and you have gone down the rabbit hole. I was deep in the rabbit hole friends… like hunched over in a weird position on the couch kind of deep. I stumbled upon this video talking about the “easiest diet ever” and the more I thought about it the more annoyed I became.

The gist of this video is explaining the secret of our skinny friends is that they do not obsess about food like other people do. At first I did not think too much about it, but the more I thought about it the more I thought about how much food has consumed us as a society. How it dominates parts of our conversations and thoughts. It did not take me long to realize how often I think about food. It is an embarrassing amount of time. Not only food, but weight and outward appearance. It has become like a moral guideline.

Good foods and bad foods.

Clean foods and dirty foods.

Cleanses.

Paleo.

Keto.

Vegan and Vegetarian.

Can we just pause and think about this? Food has always been at the center of our lives. We celebrate with food and grieve with food. I mean think about it. We have large dinners to celebrate marriages, birthdays, job promotions, etc. When people die or are fighting through an illness people will often bring those who are suffering food. It is a comfort for many and it is a necessity to live. There is no getting around it.

Since around the early 1960s diet culture has really skyrocketed. Diets varying from things like the low fat diet, high protein and low carb diet, to now having this all natural clean eating diet. The talk around dieting has become a little overwhelming.

Almost daily I overhear conversations about weight and guilt associated with food consumed. I see judgements made on other people’s plates in restaurants. I hear people using weight descriptions to describe someone instead of using characteristics of their personality to describe them. I do not need to know whether or not someone is a “big” guy or girl. What does that tell me about them? Absolutely nothing. Tell me what they do for their career, what their hobbies are, what color eyes they have. Those descriptors tell me things. How aesthetically pleasing their body is to your mind does not tell me anything of value.

I hear kids after they scroll through Instagram say things like, “Well I guess I am not eating today” or “Now I feel guilty for having that donut for breakfast” after seeing a food blogger’s post. How are comments like that healthy? To be honest I have said things like that as well. As much as I know better I cannot sit here and lie and say that scrolling through Instagram does not affect how I view myself.

 

It absolutely does.  

 

I know that about myself, so I do not scroll through the pages that make me feel bad about myself.

 

It is not just social media that affects people though. It is not fair to place all the blame on social media. People’s expressions can say more than words or pictures on a post sometimes. In a blog post I wrote a couple months ago I talked about how I lost a lot of weight in college. I could no longer keep doing the things I was doing to my body in order to keep up that weight loss. In recent years I have put that weight back on. Guess what? I am a lot happier where I am now than I was back then. But, when I see people who knew me after that weight loss look at me now I see a look in their eyes that is almost like a look of pity. I do not believe that this is what they are thinking in real life, but when I see their faces I feel guilty for putting the weight back on. That is when the obsessions with food and weight come back into my mind. It is a daily fight in my brain. I know what is healthy and I want to eat like a “normal” person. But it is crazy how easy it is to justify and going back to those extreme behaviors with the diet culture we live in currently.

It might seem like there is no escape when food, weight, and appearance take up more than half of advertisements, social media posts, and personal conversations we hear and see on a daily basis. I have made it my mission to redirect conversations when it turns to these issues. Now, does this mean I think we should only eat chocolate, twinkies, and all the junk food?

No.

We should be taking care of our bodies and fueling it with things that make us function at our best. I do not think we need to obsess about eating only things that society deems “clean”. We need balance, and obsession is not balance. My worth and identity are not equal to my weight. What I choose to eat or not eat does not dictate if I am a good or bad person. I am a daughter of the most high king. I have been baptized into God’s family. Forgiven and redeemed. That is and always will be my identity. Not what I look like or how much I weigh. Here is what I want my diet to consist of: Love for Jesus and love for others. I love our mission statement at Epiphany. “Connecting people to Christ and to one another”. There is nothing more important than this. Sharing the Gospel. So I do not have time anymore to obsess about food when there are so many people I could be chatting about Jesus with. That is a hundred thousand times more important than discussing the food on my plate.

 

Until next week my friends, peace be with you.